Hello there. Yer here cuz you wanna be on the mailing list! What that actually means is that you will get an email from me about the Radio Show or the new articles about the Dork Forest. AND... you will get a rare and wonderful email from me saying that I will be within about 700 miles of you doing standup comedy. Unless I become famous and then these will be incessant and you can e me to get OFF the dang list. It's a sweet sweet opportunity I know. Fill out the required things* and then the non-required things if you're really bored. take care of each other out there, Jackie
1. Any Name: *
2. Your City and State: *
3. Your Email Address: *
4. What type of being are you? Mortal God Dream Faerie Other (Specify in Notes at bottom of questionnaire)
5. What has brought you into my part of the forest? I'm video game obsessive compulsive I celebrate my portion of the forest and wish to share I like your comedy AND some sort of dorkdom I thought I invented the words "dork forest" in a row and wish to duel Other (write in text thingy below)
6. Where did you hear about the Dork Forest? Saw Jackie do the bit on the televison dude... I LARP... Google to avoid work/school/family I want to clear cut the forest and you are my first step.
7. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much do you want to be involved in Combat? 1 Can I? 2 Really? 3 What's this got to do with Jackie or Comedy? 4 Is it safe? 5 Really? 6 You're kidding right? 7 No, really? 8 I don't know... 9 aw, hell 10 SURE!
8. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much comedy do you see live (1 is none - 10 is stalkery) 0 I am joyless 1 Bachlorette party dragged me to one 2 Free tickets came in the mail 3 I buy comics drinks 4 Once every couple months 5 I sleep with comics 6 I dream of Comedy Central 7 I go to giant theater shows 8 I buy comics Merch 9 Once a Month 10 Every Week
9. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much you love a video game: 1 They are the devil's work 2 Pong's okay 3 Only drunk 4 Just happy ones 5 RPG's Rule my life 6 Be there in a sec! 7 Just one more level! 8 Can't talk right now 9 BE the hooker! 10 I'm joining the army
10. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much you liked the sales jokes: 1 Marx 2 Lenin 3 Locke 4 Jefferson 5 Lincoln 6 Hobbes 7 Halliburton 8 Girls Gone Wild 9 Tony Robbins 10 Machiavelli
11. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much you want to be involved in Political Maneuvering: 1 I eat cheetos 2 I drink Mountain Dew 3 I play D+D 4 I play vids 5 I like outside better 6 I'll make calls 7 I'll send emails 8 I'll flyer 9 I will picket 10 I will build a statue of her
12. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much you want to be involved in Jackie's Career: 1 Who? 2 Maybe 3 I joined the email list, leave me alone 4 I MIGHT buy a CD 5 I would go see her if she's in my town 6 I would tell my local club I like her 7 If she sleeps with me, I would do more 8 If she doesn't sleep with me, I would do even more 9 So much it's like looking in the Sun 10 We are related, I want to inherit
Notes (Just email me if you need more room to let me in on your life story).
IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE SENDING THIS, JUST E ME. ... NOT AS MUCH FUN - I KNOW, But guaranteed to work: jackie@jackiekashian.com.